RSO, here we go.

Quick update:  I got into the section of algebra that I wanted!  Whoo.  Also, I don’t quite know how complex analysis is going to be — because it’s ridic hard for me right now, and the first homework is sort of strange.

Also, I’m trying to join clubs this year.  That’s right.  I wanna do the gymnastics club and then some other club, maybe.  And go to the gym.  And maybe start a ROCK BAND.  Maybe.

This week I realized that I could get a lot of work done if  I had no friends — but if I had no friends, I wouldn’t wanna get work done.  Unresolvable.

My goals for this year are: make friends, go to parties, have fun, get good marks, write more, read more, and stop making fun of 1st and 3rd wave feminism.  Also, as much as I like getting ditched, I want to stop it.  Appropriate preventative plans must be created and utilized.  All of these things just mentioned are in their infancy phases, but they’ll grow — O, clever Socrates, they’ll grow.

First day news, UPS blues.

It began this morning when my phone alarm didn’t go off.  It was at around this time that I realized my NEWEST phone was eating up battery like no one’s business, AND the charger didn’t work with it.  I don’t know why.  It’s exactly the same as my last two phones that they gave me to replace my first phone.  So, it was dead.  I didn’t know what to do.

Some quick thinkings — I have another phone!  My NEWER phone!  I’ll put the battery in there and charge it.  So I did.  But, my newer phone doesn’t work with outgoing or incoming calls, so I needed to replace the battery back into my newEST phone.

I rode my bike [quickly!  it only took 7 minutes, but this was a nice warm day.  I expect it to take an average of 15 minutes.]  to class and…had class.  I’m not sure which section of Algebra I’ll be in — since I wasn’t registered and a bunch of kids didn’t either — but I’ll be in one of them, hopefully.  This course looks intense.  Our first homework is due WEDNESDAY.  yes.  this wednesday.  but, it’s short.  so.  no biggie.

Next, I went to complex analysis.  I could not *at all* understand anything the teacher said.  I hope this gets better as time goes on.  I wasn’t even sure what we did at all today.  I’m looking forward to learning complex analysis by myself this quarter.

I got out of class, and I decided to go home.  I got my issues straightened out with my electric company, and I called my property management place.  They didn’t answer.  So, I went down to their building.  Apparently, it’s closed, so I had to ride my bike a-ways to their other building.  30 minutes and a few unhappy customers [including a shirtless man who couldn't get his laundry out of the washer room] I was all set and promised my name would be on the buzzer.  Soon.  Eventually.  At some point.

So, I go on the #4 bus to go down to pick up my UPS packages that didn’t get delivered BECAUSE my name wasn’t on the buzzer.  81st and Cottage Grove — and it was…eh. It was interesting.  It’s not a bad area, but — It was annoying getting there.  It’s kind of a bad area, I guess.  I’m not exactly sure.  But it took around 40 minutes since I went when all the kids were getting out of school.
I have to go back at 7:30 at night.  Because they wouldn’t let me have them then.  It’s not policy to GIVE OUT packages before 7:30pm.  But they were both there.  But it’ll be dark around then.  Hm.

But I’m home now.  So I’mma make some food and prepare for my outing.

So,

bike hike.

So, first, I went to a party and that was exciting.  I saw all of my favorite people, and then some people that I’m “eh” with, and then some people I didn’t like at all.

But then after the parties, — oh, I saw Jon Cheng at the parties, and that was funny, ’cause he’s a funny kid — but after the parties, I went to go get my bike.  It took a long, long, long time, so I txt’d people.  but that was a bad idea.  and also, I wasn’t exactly entirely there — nor am I entirely here right now, but, eh — and so none of them really made sense.  So, if I sent you a txt — I’m sorry.  Anyhow, I began to ride my bike home and somewhere along the way, there was some kind of a wet spot.

!

So, I skid, and then I sort of toppled over the front of my bike onto my knees, while my bike sort of — I’m not exactly sure, really, but it would up in front of me to the right, a bit.

I brushed myself off, nodded my head back and forth, and continued along.

When I got home, I looked myself up and down.  I didn’t have a scratch on me.  In fact, I didn’t have any marks on my shirt or pants either.

So, did it really happen?  I’ll never know.

no, no, mayo.

So, I made a BLT with mayo.  So what?

My friend IMs me and is like, “what’re you doing?” and i’m like, “blt, bitch.”

So he explains, “oh, did you check the date on that mayo?”

to which I reply, “what the hell?”

but I did, just because it was such a strange request.  I just bought it, so it could not be too bad, right?

September 4th, 2007.

Okay.  I see what they did there.  They sold me bad mayo.  And I ate bad mayo.  That’s okay.

Okay, and also, I forgot to take my lactaid, so I HOPE this stomach ache is because of lactose and not SICKNESS.

At least it can’t get any worse.

I forgot about being sick.

I forgot that, you know, besides psychological disorders there are OTHER illnesses that I need to worry about.

I just laid in my bed, on my side for around 3 hours.  Just a few minutes ago, I was able to throw myself upwards and stumble [on my hands and knees] to the kitchen.  I thought I was getting dehydrated, so I pulled out orange juice and I began to try to open it.  I was too weak to even get the top off.  I unscrewed the cap, then took a knife and sort of leaned myself into the pop-off cap to make a nice slit.  I then collapsed onto the group, and tried to aim the orange juice into my mouth.  It didn’t work as well as I thought it would.

After getting some orange juice in me, I felt a bit better [+10 minutes] so I stumbled over to get tyloneol and simply sleep, hoping that this drug cocktail should be enough to keep me comfortably sedated for the rest of the night.  I was hungry beyond belief, and my head was pounding, so I began to nibble on some baklava — but this just upset my stomach.  Bad idea.  It took all of my strength to get to the bathroom in time.  Lots of adrenaline.  While waiting in there, I found my thermometer and took my temperature.  A brisk [as compared to volcanoes] 103.1 degrees.  After being satisfied in the bathroom, I wabbled my way out [attempting to stand, and ultimately failing] and began to seriously consider my illness — what if I died here?  would anyone notice?  would they just think that I wasn’t online and I was ignoring their calls?  or that I was busy in the city?  at what point would they find me?  obviously, this would be too late.

I laid down with my pounding head and my upset stomach.  I was, apparently, too sick to be able to be in such a position, so I sat up.  I sat around for what seemed like hours [in actuality, it was around 3 minutes] and got incredibly bored.   I felt the tyloneol kicking in, and I crawled over to drink more juice.  After a few minutes of the juice, I stood up and wabbled [drunkenly?] towards my PC chair.  I opened the laptop, turned down the brightness, and began writing this entry.

My stomach is still killing me.

My head is still pounding.

I still feel like absolute shit.

Isn’t anyone going to take care of me?

Anagrams.

Queer Agenda = Qua Green Dae.

American = I care, Man.

West Virginia = Ew, I — I stir in Vag.

Germany = Men R Gay.

(

Let’s play a little game. Okay? Okay. I’m going to give you an arithmetic problem. You have five seconds to answer it. If you answer correctly, you can ask me anything you want, and I have to answer honestly. If you answer incorrectly, then you have to answer me honestly.

Okay? Ready?

14 minus 5.

Very good. No, I haven’t really been out of the country ever, and I don’t have much of a desire to go anywhere. Maybe Europe. That’s about it. Maybe France, but is that too cliche? Australia? I don’t know. Good first question.

7 times 6.

No, no, that one’s harder than it sounds. What you do is — or, what I do is, — make it 7 times 3 times 2. That’s 21 times 2. That’s 42. So, honestly — do you believe in any of that stuff?

Yeah. Me either. It’s too depressing. Yeah. Life should have meaning. Uh-huh. Sometimes I make it up just to get out of bed. Yeah. No, I know what you mean.

5 times 5.

No, that’s too — 5 times 8.

Oh, you got that too. You’re quick. I like green, but I think my favorite color is blue.

No. I think…uh…I don’t know, I consider black a shade. But. No, I guess it could be a color, I really don’t know. I never thought about it, really. Again, good question.

7 times 8.

Yeah, that one’s tough too. Try 7 times 4 times 2. Yeah, split it up. No, that’s how I do it — I’m sure there’s other ways. Have you ever been in love?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. Uh-huh. Yeah, really nice at first. Uh-huh. Yeah, no, I know, that spa — no, okay, yeah, spark. That’s what I was gonna say. Uh-huh. So, sort of. Yeah, no, I get it. Oh, I can’t answer it, it’s not my turn. Or, your turn. Or whatever.

You can ask it your next turn. No, it’s how the game works. No, then we’re playing a totally different game.

Okay. 1 times 1.

OH. No, no, it’s 1. Oh, no, haha. Yeah, that’s — no, I know. No, you got it wrong fair and square. Ha, it was cheap. No, I distinctly said “times” but, you know — yeah, I have been known to mutter. But, how long have you been alone?

Yeah. Me too.

Yeah, sometimes I do that too.

Just sit in my room and sort of stare at the walls.

Yeah, I think that a lot of people do that.

No, I don’t have a good window to look out of.

Sometimes I wish that people were here all the time, yeah.

But I like privacy.

You don’t?  Yeah.  Well, I don’t know, I think of myself as –

Yeah.  You have been alone for a long time.  That’s really upsetting.

Well.  I don’t know.  I guess I’m not really that alone.

I have been feeling that way for a long time, though.

No, not quite that long.  I guess I’m a bit better off.

Its something everyone does once.

Second panel, second sentence.  What’s wrong?

*

The land is breaking apart.

I think I’ll move to the sea.

&

Oh, no — don’t rub your eyes and turn your ears upwards; I hear it, too.

I hear a low rumbling and a high pulse — but I can’t tell which is coming from inside my body and which is coming from outside. Which do you hear? The same? It’s unfortunate we were made so uniformly — don’t our hearts beat in the same time? doesn’t our blood flow at nearly the same rate? don’t our lungs suck in air and spit out soot at almost exactly the same moments?

Are you holding your breath now to prove me wrong or because you are scared?

If I knew what it was, I would hold my breath too — I’m just afraid it will be thousands upon thousands of gallons of water that will surge through the room. I’m just afraid to be completely unable to breathe, and I’m just afraid to be unable to hold my breath for as long as it passes over me.

I’m afraid to get my clothes wet.

I hear it, too. It shutters like thunder but it claps like lightning — There is no rumble, though, and it doesn’t light up the sky.

When mankind saw lightning, he asked, “Where is this coming from?” and it was proof that nature has a sense of humor — she lit up the sky to show him the answer, and still it took him years upon years to figure it out. Lightning was hidden-in-plain-sight.

But what is this roaring? What is this weather? What is this that eludes the seeker even as it calls from its hiding place? Are we deaf? Are we blind? Are we growing dull?

You hear it, too, but how eager you are to agree with me. How eager you are to offer solutions, suggestions, and arguments. Is it because you’ve heard it before? Is it because you’ve heard something like it before?

The unfairness of living is that in order to progress to the future man must live in the past. This is like this. That is like that. If we do not remember, then what is something new? Is it something at all? After it happens, did it even happen in the first place? Does it even matter? The unfairness of living is that we do not progress to the past by having the knowledge from the future. How comfortable the cave to the bear, the nest to the bee, and the womb to the man.

But I know what this is: it is the earth itself. It is the land and the water and the fire and the sky.

Yes, I hear it. I hear my heart beat and I hear my blood flowing — the low, deep thump and the high, screaming pulse — and I hear something else, too –

I hear the earth moving. But there is nothing I can do.

I hear the earth moving, and I need to find a place to stand.